- Anti Joke

What did one cancer patient say to the other? Nothing, both of them were dead.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

On Friday the 13th,My cat turned into a dog.

What is 1 inch long and eats everyone in it's way .... my pet fish

What did Facebook say to Twitter, and twitter to blogg ant blogg to youtube? nothing. They cant talk..

Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like poems What rhymes with poem?

How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

everyone dislike the first joke on page one

What should'nt you say to a rape victim. Rape.

If I have a penny, and I give it to Michael Jackson, What will he do with it? Nothing. He's dead.

Where does Elmo live? In Sesame Street.

Why did the woman spend all her time in the kitchen? For fear of her abusive husband.

How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

Whats green and has wheels?? - Grass, I lied about the wheels

If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

Ha-Ha! Well now, we call this the act of mating But there are several other very important differences Between human beings and animals that you should know about I'd appreciate your input Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory" So if I capsize on your thighs high tide, B-5 you sunk my battleship Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll Lovett just like Lyle And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch "X-Files" Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now

Yd the chicken cross the road? To SAVE THE WORLD

why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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