Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

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In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

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You know whats funny? A man cooking dinner.

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what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

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Wuts brown and smelly? Brown smelly stuff.

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What's an anti joke? Then I ate my digestive biscuit.

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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Sometimes when I'm horny, I put vinegar on my diick

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

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What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

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Q. How many puns does it take to make a cup of tea? A. None. A pun is a grammatical construct and as such is incapable of combining the ingredients necessary to generate a hot drink which has been popular for hundreds of years.

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How do you get a man out of a box? Blow the box up

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Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was content where he was.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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A man walks into bar and orders a drink. The bartender says " Hey I saw a bunch of men coming in and out of your house while you were on vacation last week." The man replied " I know. That's because my wife is a prostitute."

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Steve Mullings isn't on drugs

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Knock Knock Come in. Thanks.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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Why didnt jerry trip over a slug? Because jerry is an arabian and the atmosphere in arabi is to hot for a slug.

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roses are red violets are blue kyle brown and pj nosaki have big balls

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Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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