Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you get a clown to shut up? Hit him in the face with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a blonde walks into a drycleaning store to get her clothes and on her way out the empoyee behind her says come again and then the blonde says shut up u nosy bitch its just toothpaste this time!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

how long does it take a meth-head to rob your flat? not long at all, and they'll take everything. they need to, it's an addiction

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Chuck Norris fall of the cliff? Because he was pushed.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When black people wore their pants low, white people called it "Saggin" little did they know that "saggin" spelled backwards is "white supremacy" those sneaky white people

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the dead baby cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people not make the mistakes he did

thumb_up thumb_down -9

This is sparta No this is patrick

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they weren't invented when he was alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why couldn't the man walk? He lost his legs when he stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I saw my friend stabbing a girl. i asked what is he doing "Oh im just killing time" turns out the girls name is Time Demson. What a weird name i thought to myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The rabbit owns a small business and has trouble getting a loan.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

q- what do you call a small number of black people running away from a large group of white people? a- every marathon known to man...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do the Wii, PS3, and Xbox 360 all have in common? None of them will get you laid.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ...get back in the kitchen, I'm hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than dividing by zero? Chuck Norris dividing your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

"My c.ock is bigger!" "No! My c.ock is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops