why was the little girl crying in her dads arms? Because he was strangling her

thumb_up thumb_down -15

it was dark outside so u know what i did....went to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's old and has wet pants? My grandma with a bladder problem

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A Jew walks on his way to work. He does not notice the quarter lying on the sidewalk and did not care for the dollar lying on the other side of the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

all hail based mark

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How are a black man, a hispanic man, and a chinese man similar? Believe it or not they all love cantaloupe!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, no they're not. They're VIOLET. That's why they're called that. If they were blue, they would be called "Blues", or something of a similar nature. Don't be dumb.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call five black guys surrounding one white guy who bosses them around? Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q:What did sandy say to spongebob A:Nothing they were both crushed by the water pressure of being at the bottom of the ocean ni,gger

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Justin Bieber.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Hitler and Jews become friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

book 'em danno

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the man drive into the river? He was sleep deprived from working overtime.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -15

yo momma's so dumb she attended a dyslexic test and was proven mildly autistic.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q:What did the Hulk say before the bartender refused to serve him further drinks? A: HULK SMASHED! Moral: "THE MORE DRUNK THE HULK GETS! BLURRIER HIS VISION BECOMES! HULK IS THE BLURRIEST THERE IS!"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A momma tomato and a baby tomato are walking down the street, and the baby tomato starts to fall behind. The mother turns to it and says "hurry up."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the blond have a broken nose? because she was brutaly beaten by five rapists when she refused to have sex with them.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

so david walks into a convenience store and wanted to buy a pack of gum. so he asks the cashier how much is the gum and the cashier said that it is 99 cents and then david said oh no! i thought it was 98 cents.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops