Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

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Why was the dog barking... Because billy fell down the well

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knock knock no no you go now i clean

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family killed themselves.

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One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

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Q.what has big ears? A.your vagina.

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What do you get when you kill justin beiber? A medal..

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What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

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your mom is so rude that she took her t shirt of and her bra of she was not naked how did she get so rude she drank till one brain cell was left

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Q: Why did your mom cross the street? A: Because she was so ugly that she fell off both sides of the bed

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You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

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Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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If there are anti jokes why are there no uncle jokes?

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What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

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Apparently I'm an unfit father, cuz all I know is dope and all I got is 30 dollas

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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Knock knock who's there? the police, your under arrest the police your under arrest who? BAM! sir, I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of your wife, anything you say or do can be used against you. IT WASN'T ME!!!! yeah yeah tell it the judge

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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If this joke were a potato I would be very confused

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what happend when the little boy went on the rollercoaster ? It crashed.

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when i yell your name i probably want your attention :) S.H.

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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