A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

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Why was the man eaten by a tiger? Because tigers are carnivores, but why are they carnivores? Because they eat meat.

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? Because her asshole brother pushed her :)

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knock knock whos there open the door and find out

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I can be considerate if like someone is burning to death and I was the one considerate enough to lit them on fire... Wait no, I am considerate towards my friends (which are all ladies, all men besides me are obstacles and nothing else) AAAAND my logic processor broke down. Anyway, please do me the honors, take the last message.

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What did the cat say to the cat? Miau

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An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Then the Atheist died a violent and terrible death.

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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What is worse than adolf hitler? Justin beiber

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one day there was an ugly barnicle. he was SSSOOO ugly that everyone died the end -patrick

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Why didn't the black man get the scholarship? Because he didn't apply for it.

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What is the most confusing day for chavs? Fathers day

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What do you call someone with the world biggest encyclopedia on their head? Dead.

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The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

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Why is Macaroni Boy so Cool Because He's not

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Why was Diana crying? Because she was penetrated.

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Your mom was so fat, She was overweight.

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what's a self-driving car 10 years from now? probably just "a car".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was no oncoming traffic.

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AYE DEAD ON CAOIMHIN

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Q: What did Nala say to Simba during the stampede? A: Nothing. She was nowhere to be found during that scene.

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What's the worlds most popular burger? The Krabby Patty

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We are not familiar with the specific circumstances, therefore its difficult to determine exactly why.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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