Obama

Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have difficulty understanding each other.

What do you call a man named Cornelius? Well, he prefers to go by his middle name, Eric, because he was teased as a child for being named Cornelius.

What is the difference between a seal and an armadillo? They are both aquatic animals, except for the armadillo.

What do you call a black man? Black

Q: What's black and white and rape kids? A: Pandas, I lied about the rape.

Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

why did the mokey fall out of the tree because it was dead.

My parents died!

What's worse than chicken pox? AIDs.

Did you hear about the 2 car crash in a walmart parking lot? 50 mexicans died

Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

John has 7 apples and Lisa has 4 apples John eats 3 apples and Lisa eats 1 apple and give another to John Their diets lacks various essential nutrients

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What will it be?" The homeless man says, "Nothing. I have no money."

Feminism.

Try this on your friend Have him start with "knock knock" Then blankly stare at him, if he asks you To reply tell him no one is home

What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

What does a black guy and an apple have in common? They're both apples except for the black guy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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