Hitler walks into a temple..... Oh wait he died

How do you kill a black man? feed him mayonase

what did the pizza say to the bread? nothing pizza cant talk

Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

what do call a purple animal that eats rocks? A purple rock eater..

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

there is 500 dicks on the wall how many will choke on? None?? so ur a professional!!!! lol

What did the duck get for Christmas. A potato. Not really it got nothing because it's a duck

Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *goes crazy and shoots himself*

How can you tell a baby lost it's voice? It doesn't scream when you staple it to a ceiling fan and turn it on.

Q:What's the difference between a Boy scout and a Jew? A:Boy scouts come back from camp.

Are you from Tenessee? I heard you were from there

Q:Whats the difference between Jews and Pizza? A: Jewish people are humans, and pizza is a food

why did the Mexican take $20, because he found it on the ground

What's the difference between a plumber and a gynecologist? One has a knowledge of piping system of a house and the ability to fix said pipes and the other has the medical knowledge of a women's vagina.

What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

I can vote and I am equal to males in the work enviornment. That's what she said.

What's city is in New York New York City

Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

why cant ben cry, because i gorged his eyes out with a popsickle stick.....

Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son Scotty was grabbed by the sexual predator 4 blocks from the school, and your daughter Sally tried to run and is now under the wheels on the bus going round and round.

DO NOT CONTACT THE ONES THAT LEFT! I REPEAT DO NOT CONTACT THE NEWCOMERS THAT LEFT! Nero7 was not the only one that became suspicious when we suddenly found thousands upon thousands of new potential members more than willing to join us, many of not most of them, before even learning any essential details about our purpose! While many morons and idiots assumed that Neronism was becoming popular, we all fucking know that we have done everything to keep this all hidden! And then suddenly everything from wealthy people to politicians arrive? No way! Nero7 is with us, and while we have thanks to the hidden camera`s he insisted we install about everywhere except under the goddamn toilet bowls, we have concluded that these people all have similar racial traits, and all speak the same language. Nero7 is barely conscious due to fever, but he keeps pointing at the screen and shouting Russian Spetznas! If this is true, (and to us it sounds Russian and they are obviously very coordinated and no simple grunts) Then we are all screwed... I mean from Nero7`s feverish ramblings and and his database, we can only assume that this is some sort of rogue sub department, of a smaller force than we first assumed, but these guys consist first and foremost of specialized soldiers and hackers... We are scrambling for ideas, exit strategies, while doing our best to get Nero7 out of here, he suggests we question the mercenary that assaulted him which is in prison. I fear we might have to break our ethics and code of honor among many things here, but getting that mercenary out and... Somehow getting answers from him, might be our last hope. Listen "Eliza" if any of you got any Intel at your position, let us know, we are well hidden considering these men that have taken over most of what we can at this point say Was the order, at least the one we knew... Listen, if you got any Intel from your position, let us know, and damn it if these bastards begin killing people, any of you for that matter... ...At this rate the order will end up exposed, and remembered as some terrorist mindwashing religious cult... If you have anything, even ideas, share them with us, damn... All these years with efforts, creating a system of our own... Never hurting a damn fly, it seems like it is all going to end with most of our members getting recruited by a handful of specialized Russians or killed...

How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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