Why did the boy cry when he got circumcised? Because he couldn't fap.

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Well that explains a lot, thank you.

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What do you call a Muslim in control of a plane? A pilot

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Nero, thank you for this opportunity, I desire to join the shadows, I left a thumbs up. Michelle

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A pirate walks into a doctors office with ship's wheel attached to his crotch. Pirate: "Arrrrrr, do ya accept Kaiser Permanente?" Doctor: "Yes, but there's a $20 co-pay."

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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What's red, fast, and flies through the air? A tomato in a plane.

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Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

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What's the difference between a zit and a priest? These two things are so different that I couldn't list all of the differences in this text box.

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why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

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Q: How many black guys does it take to black top a driveway? A: I can't give you a definitive answer unless I know the area to be covered, the thickness of material to be applied, and the capabilities of each individual working that particular day.

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there are two muffins in an oven. one says "its getting hot in here". the other says " oh my gosh!!! its a talking muffin!!!"

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How do you kill a blonde? There are countless ways to complete such a task all of which have infinite variations.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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Why did the Grandad teabag his Grandson? Because he likes dipping his balls into the mouths of his Grandchildren; as if they were a teabag and his mouth was a mug.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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How do you make a sandwich? You don't, you have a girl do it for you.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts What's worse than two holocausts? Twilight

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So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, or have you been in a wheelchair all your life?

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what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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My mother forgot to make me a sandwich today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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