Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some dreams stay dreams, But some dreams come true. Some want to be god, They want to have made us. But I want to be an astronaught, So I can explore Uranus.

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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Stephen Hawking wheels into the Center for Theoretical Cosmology.

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That's what she didn't say

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A guy walks into a bar what does he say? OW.

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Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

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Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

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One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Because She had no arms. Why did suzie fall off again? Becauze Jimmy was trying to snipe her in the head the first time

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89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

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Why do people on here submit anti-jokes involving children getting raped or killed? Because the people on this website are sadists. =/

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Why couldn't Sally climb up the ladder? Because she was a paraplegic.

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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Why did the Asian drive his car into a tree? His contact fell out.

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what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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A Jew walks into a bar screaming cause he just broke his face

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Tunechi

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A Jewish man with a 20 mile boner walks into a wall. Which body part hits the wall first? His nose

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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You know what they say about big feet... Wow, those are some big feet.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? Well, he's dead.

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A man accidentally forgets his daughter at a Sizzler

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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