My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

thumb_up thumb_down -37

what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's the difference between Jordan and Time? Time passes!!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

There was a irishmen in his house. He was thirsty. so he drank some water

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's better than being raped by a donkey? Pie.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT i farted. : l

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Q.whats the weirdest thing??????? A.woman leaders

thumb_up thumb_down -41

And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

thumb_up thumb_down -41

How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

thumb_up thumb_down -41

How many Jews can you fit in to a car? Well depending on the car 2-8

thumb_up thumb_down -41

why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why Did The Black Guy Eat Watermelon? Because he lives in south africa where they are commonly grown and needed a healthy snack.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What did the snoop dog have for breakfast? Weed

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Why was the little boy crying? Because his older brother was forcing him to pee on an electrical socket.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What's worse than HIV? AIDS -Bob Bobby

thumb_up thumb_down -43

A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the hospital? A: The victim of a violent mob attack

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hello Carolina, let me lick your vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Justin

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops