Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

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if you can raed tihs steence it menas you are ceelvr eugnoh to uendnrstad tihs: no sex cusaes dgdoy eeys

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It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

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every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

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What do you call a man with an Eye patch and no arms? Names.

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Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

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what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

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Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

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You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

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What did the man do when he dropped his bar of soap. He picked it up

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24

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Poop

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What happens when you lose your fish? It dies.

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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A man walk into a bar. Just kidding he has no legs.

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I`m not as random as you think i`m salad.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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