Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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How is a raven like a writing desk? It isn't.

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What did the indian man say to the black man? "Hi."

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Where can you find a good lawyer? At a reputable law firm.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!". The grasshopper turns and says "You've got a drink named Steve?"

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

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What stands on the corner oof every major city at night? A cop

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Why is the fat man fat? Because he has an extremly bad metabolism which makes him gain two pounds from eating one cheeseburger

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

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why did your parents die? because I thought it was funny...

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once you go black you prefer not to date any white people

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Why should you never trust anglers? Because they're always into fishy business... Why should you never trust hunters? Because they carry loaded guns...

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

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i have a christmas tree.

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Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

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im at school

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How many fat Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have cancer.

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It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

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Anti-Joke is a silver bullet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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