Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

thumb_up thumb_down -32

April showers bring May flowers! And what do May flowers bring? Bees. Lots and lots of bees.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I had a really great joke to tell you!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what is the diference between a jew and a boy scout. a boy scout comes home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call a black man driving a helicopter? Blackhawk down

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

well, I'm dying of AIDS, so....

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did they bury the pope on the side of the hill? because he is dead -Eden Hogg

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Alternate ending for children: Despite the massive trauma that the spider suffered from his fall and the sheer volume of rain in the confined space of a pipe, it made a miraculous recover due to the sun coming out. It was however, forever doomed to repeat this cycle of undeath for ever more. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Whats a welfare? Its what keeps you alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

thumb_up thumb_down -36

prison isnt fun it also is bland kidnapping is a crime but get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A man walks into a bar, and spends all his money because he is an alchoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Whats black and white and musty? A nuns pussy because it never gets used.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Nature is filled with wondrous things. No really, this isn't a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Q: What has 2 eyes and 2 halves of pigs' snout? A: Two pigs peeking around a corner.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Charlie Sheen is winning

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A man walks into a bar carrying a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender says, "We don't serve construction workers here."

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops