I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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How long does it take a woman to park a car? Shouldn't take long, depends on the size of the parking spot.

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Q:Why didn't Mr. Fuzzy have to cut his hair anymore? A: Because he was diagnosed with cancer

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a porsche? i don't have i dead baby in my garage. That would be wrong

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Moderately entertaining story, friend.

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Statistically 9/11 Americans wont get this joke. But 7/7 British will.

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knock knock who's there auntie auntie who? anti-joke

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What's the difference between a cow and a cow? Nothing, they are both the same.

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They say once you go black, you never go black. But clearly they weren't referring to Nigel, who had an average-sized penis at best.

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What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

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A woman catches her husband cheating on her she divorces him in a rather lengthy sequence of meetings in court

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why was sally bleeding? they never buy band-aids over her nubs.

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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Yo momma so fat, she has large amount of fat deposited in her body

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oooh look a banshee

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Hey, have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. Neither has he.

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Whats black and red inside? A black guy

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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!

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What do an elephant and a grape have in common? They're both purple... except for the elephant.

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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Q- what did the magician say after the sawed the woman in half ? A- call an ambulance !

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Why did the...uhh.... Lamp.

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your mother is so fat, she possesses her own orbit

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what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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