What's worse than breaking your neck on a trampoline? Getting in a car crash on the way to the hospital.

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How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

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Boy, do I love chicken strips. Sometimes, when I’m home alone, I’ll take some chicken strips fresh out of the oven and rub them in my scalp. It doesn’t do much for my hair health, but I like the way they feel running through my strands of hair. The flakey coating, smooth white meat, and warmth. Yum.

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what's worse than fining out that the best and worst jokes on anti-joke.com are about the Holocaust The Holocaust

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Why don't carrot tops souls ? They just don't

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A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

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Why are Jewish men curcumsized? Because Jewish women wont put their hands on anything that's not 20% off

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Why did little Sally drop her ice cream? She got ran over by the school bus

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A white man, hispanic man, and a black man walk into a bar together. They order cokes.

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Hot Lady: What do you do for a living? Guy: Phosphorus, Oxygen, and Radon. Hot Lady: So you are a chemist? Guy: Think again! Think about Acronyms... Hot Lady: OPRa, so Opera correct? Guy: (Obviously talking to a Blonde) P, O, Rn Hot Lady: So, you are a chemistry teacher! Guy: (Sighs to himself thinking how PORn relates to chemistry. Which it does in biochemistry, but he does not know that).

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Why can no one in africa read or write? I would asume the lack of public education combined with the fact that setting up an education system for so many widespread remote comunities would be a logistical nightmare. But then again I have never been to africa and know little about the country and so the premise of this joke is probably a dramatic overstatement in the first place.

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Why does Santa Clause not have children? Because he only "comes" once a year

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What did George Washingtn say to is men before crossing the Delaware? Men, get in the boat.

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One man said to another, "Hey, can you hear that?" "No." He replied.

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why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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Rose are red, violets are blue, niggas is soft, just like you

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Steven Hawkin ran a marathon.

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My momma's so ugly she had to get plastic surgery. Now I need it.

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What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? ...hey, it's kinda fun to type tootsie... ...tootsie tootsie tootsie...

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If Jewish men light a menorah during Hanukkah, what do Jewish women light? Jewish women light a menorah as well; Judaism is a relatively fair religion to both sexes.

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Why did the man scream? because he was run over.

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Yo mama's fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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