Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

What Do Yu Call 2 gay guys? Tyquan And Dnautica

What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

I saw a "Baby on Board" bumper sticker on a car TARGET AQUIRED

What did the man with no teeth say? I need some teeth.

What happened to the cow that couldn't moo? It died because it could not make it's needs known to it's fellow herd and was bullied and isolated.

Why did Tupac Shakur get shot? He was a famous and very controversial celebrity, which naturally led to having a lot of enemies.

Why did the chicken cross the road? We don't know if he even did, how would we know why? There were no cameras at the intersection he crossed at. Therefor the question is unanswerable. Unless the chicken admits to it........ ........ Chickens can't talk.

Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

What is a chair?

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon

what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

Jewwy Jewstein

Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

Whats worse than finding a spider in your shower? Getting repeatedly stabbed in the dick by a rapid chipmunk.

A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

What sound does a snail make? Meow....... Think hard and you'll get it

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there?

What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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