A fish walks into a bar Fish dont walk

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Chuck Norris doesn't swim... He never learned

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A middle-aged white woman is walking toward a building, talking on her cellphone to a friend. She says, "Yes, I can meet you for lunch in a few hours. I have to go to the unemployment office to sign up for benefits. It's going to be horrible. It'll probably be full of black people." Standing in line, she is incredibly uncomfortable and horrified, because there is a black man right behind her, and she is stuck standing next to him for a long time. Finally it's her turn, and she steps up to the counter. The clerk asks her, "And what did you do for a living?" She answers, "I mopped the floors and cleaned the bathroom in a Blockbuster store that closed down." The clerk says, "Fill out this paperwork and take it to window #2." As she turns around, she is once more repulsed by the black man who is standing right there. Now that it's his turn, he steps to the counter, and the clerk asks him, "And what did you do for a living?" He answers, "I was the senior vice president of global strategic development for Eastman Kodak."

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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What did batman do before getting into his batmobile? - Look for the keys.

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Why didn't the girl take her hairbrush to school? She has cancer and all her hair fell out.

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Ever heard of the dumb blonde joke? You probably wouldn't get it.

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Your mom is so poor, she can't afford nice clothing.

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When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? She had no arms. Knock ,Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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poo

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Knock knock Who's there? Doorbell repairman

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Spongebob: Patrick! Can you hear me? Patrick: No, it's too dark.

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I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

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If you are floating down main street in a canoe and your front right propeller falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones

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What is the least racist animal? A panda. It's black, white and Asian.

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Oh because you have Lou Gehrigs Disease

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Why couldn't little Timmy turn in his homework? Because on the way to school little Timmy was hit by a bus

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A man walks into a bar, and he says, "ow,".

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Who's lower than Iran? United Arab Emirates.

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Your mama's so fat, that it's ruined her self-esteem.

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Donald Trump

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I'm winning at Scrabble.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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