Jim came home from work. only to find out his family had been murdered

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daisies are yellow Trust me, I'm a florist.

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hello? knock knock. you called me, why are you saying knock knock?

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Q: What's brown and looks like a weasel? A: A weasel.

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Q: What does a baby and an old man have in common? A: They both pee in public

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Yo mama's so fat, that we are all extremely concerned for her health.

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Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Someone clearly messed up on naming the flower. Violet is synonymous with purple, Which is obviously NOT blue; It's the mixture between blue and red.

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Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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What was the leg less and armless mans favorite type of music? Nubstep

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I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

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Q: How do u make a butcher cry A: Kill its family

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I lost The Game, You just did too.

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giddy goat

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When's the worst time to use skin moisturizer? When you're a burn victim.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man?

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2 + 2 = fish

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why didnt the man go to the wedding? he wasnt invited.

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im in stttttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssss

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why did the girl cry because she was raped

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what is worse than finding a dead worm in an apple? Obama being elected a second time

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What did the phone say to the man? Ring ring.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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