if a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? if a tree falls in the forest and it falls on a mime, does anyone care?

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Haikus are easy But they often dont make sense flying flamingos

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Why do fancy unicorns wear jackets? Because they're fancy.

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What's Red and Invisible? No Tomatos

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What do you call a black man on a horse? A BLACK MAN A ON A HORSE.

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What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

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Help I'm being raped!

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Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

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How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

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Im Black And I Will Beat You Children At Checkers,They Can Be Red

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a man said hi.

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What did the banker say to the other banker? We're both bankers!

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Tunechi

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Why is Obama the Antichrist? Salad.

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Where was Sally when the bomb went off? Everywhere...

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yo mamma so fat she got pied to be the Olympic swimming pool

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Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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So a chef, a soldier, and a lawyer are riding in a plane. The pilot has a heart attack and they all die.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

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What do you do with a dead black man? Respect his final wishes and provide him with proper funeral services.

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What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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♪ It's raining. It's pouring. ♪ The old man caught pneumonia and died....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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