A planes crashes on the US-Canada border. The survivors are promptly taken to a hospital nearby to be treated for their injuries.

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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why did the blond sop at a red light? because it was red.

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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what happened when spongebob and Patrick were mean to sandy? she made a hurricane

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a Nazi.

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What peels, is a fruit, yellow and tastes like a bannana? A bannana.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

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What is red,brown and stinks? A deer that's hit by a car

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--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

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What do Jews and Sloths have in common? They are both Mammals.

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What did the black man say to the young white woman during sex? you are a wonderful woman

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Why did the Romans conquer everyone? They were power-hungry.

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How did Princess Diana cross the road? Through the windshield

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What do you call a praying mantis at your door step? a Jehovah Witness

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knock knock who's there i lost my wallet my nan died

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Why did the black kid fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome

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tom pauling

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Ask me if my name is Jennifer. Is your name Jennifer? No.

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A gay Asian guy walks into a gay bar where he found a fruity looking black man... The Asian went up to the black man and said, " how'r they hanging?" shocked with anger, the black man hits him in the face, knocks him to the ground and said, " YOU DO NOT TALK TO MY FAMILY THAT WAY. BOTH MY GRANPARENTS WERE LYNCHED!!!" the Asian stands up and brushes himself off... He turns to the black guy and says " I meant the balance scale at the table you were were sitting at" the black fellow turns to the table with the notebook and the balance scale with rocks on both sides that he was sitting at... He turns back to the Asian man and apologizes for his rude behavior and buys him a drink... (2 hours later) they have sex

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Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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Roses are red, violets are blue i've got a gun, pointing at you

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oh no, i've lost my tractor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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