Why is America such a great place to live? It's not North Korea.

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Knock knock.. Whos there? To... To who? To whom.

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A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

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Q: Who was the best Jewish cook? A: Hitler.

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Doctor, I am afraid of getting sexually abused. Hmm, sounds serious, take off all your clothes so we can get a proper look.

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What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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The grass is always greener on the side that uses manure and fertilizer daily.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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Q: What did the Big Bad Wolf say to Little Red Riding Hood? A: Nothing, wolfs are mentally nor physically capable of talking

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

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Q: What happened when Johnny cheated on his test? A: He got a higher score

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A girl walks into a strip club, she was tired of her husband and wanted to see how it was actually done.

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Have you ever seen Ethiopian food? No, neither have Ethiopians.

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When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

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"I think your a hoe" "Don't worry, I know I am!" "You wanna F*** me?" "Hell Ya!"

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What causes floods? Too much water.

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Why does blond women give great blowjob? Because they has vaacum in thier heads! Blond woman coment; well thats better than having nothing at all in your head! :-)

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Yo momma so fat, she died.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it lost Consciousness.

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Knock knock Who's there? Be Be who? Be yourself

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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