A drunk man is that last one inside a very popular bar. He passed out on the counter before he ordered a drink. The bartender is angry at a sale lost, which would have been his millionth sale before closing time on the 1000th day of business. He goes home and hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the young girl say to her step-dad? Nothing. She no longer talks to him after years and years of sexual abuse which left her emotionally scarred.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Spanish Inquisition.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

do you currently smoke? i hope not.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the kid say before he died Nothing he was terminally ill

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your future.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q.why is there so much drama? A.it's a reality tv show.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

slaughter the mussies #EDL

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A drunk guy walks into a bar. A blind man walks into the same bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Sticks and stones may break my bones... and my pistol will kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

2 corpses are sitting on a bridge one fell down both are dead

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why should you paint a canoe black? Being the darkest color, it will hide dirt, scratches, and normal wear and tear on your canoe better than lighter colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why didn't the cat eat its supper? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Bin Laden: dang, these pizza guys are so late, this pizza better be free! door: Ring ring ring.. Bin Laden: yes its finally here!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you stop someone from simply copying an already posted anti-joke? No, seriously, how do you?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why was the gay person gay? he liked penis in his bum.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

so a mom is like so what you want hunny and the dad goes like you baby bahahahahaa get it?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your family is dead. Your family is dead, who? Your family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops