Q: What do a dead cat and a flower have in common. A: Nothing, just go away.

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your momma so stupid she dropped out of high school

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a deer

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and deaf, and to put her behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle would be extremely dangerous.

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Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

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What's worse, a dog dying or cancer? The Holocaust.

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What did the blonde do when her car broke down? Made a Facebook status about then called animal control.

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An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Scottsman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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A man dressed in a business suit goes into a doctor's office. He asks the receptionist how much a vasectomy would cost. After a minute of her looking it up on the computer she turns to him and says "The procedure will cost $750." He then thanks her and leaves.

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? Because Johnny's a goldfish.

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I Have a Black Friend

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A mexican Police officer walks into a crime scene. "Ouch." he exclaims, rubbing his forehead where a red bump is already surfacing.

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A mexican man killed a black man yesterday. It had nothing to do with his race, he just had a very rough childhood and wasn't taught moral values.

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Whats worse than the holocaust A.MRS FRANK B.HITLER ANSWER MRS FRANK

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haha. i got blocked too!!!!

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Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

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When Santa got stuck up the chimney he began to shout.. But he didn't shout for long as he soon succumbed to the toxic smoke and died of carbon monoxide poisoning

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Why couldn't Billy drive? He had no arms. Why did he have no arms? Thalidomide.

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Hey guess what! We're birthday buddies! May 3rd.. Yeah that's why you should give me 5 bucks.

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KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

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yo mamma is so stupid she failed high school

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here is Stevie Wonder's poem: sjkgfhdujduehfheuefeufhhf uefuefg eufbejfbefehfehutuge' wiohl;wreohqweiothurelwueths sjtghekltrhlsdifhlziurhlsiurhtwoli

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A black guy gets a job...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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