A man walks in on his wife blowing Bubbles. Two weeks later they are divorced.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you call a dead black man? dead

thumb_up thumb_down -7

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Hey, Max!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's inside that man's house? Atoms.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the girl kill herself? she was depressed.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If you work at Penn State you might want to skip the annual "bring your kid to work day"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Dogs taste better in stews.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the man say ow? He got his dick caught in his zipper.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did Tim say about his wife cheating on him with his best friend's wife? He ran to R Kelly and got peed on.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a pig and a ball when u come across both of them? A ball hog!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Where's Waldo? The cemetery, he died last week.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do you call a man with no friends? it's because of all the wear and tear that's done to the socks being thrown in her, and she desanitizes only the nun with no forebeard

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There were once three bears who lived in a cottage in the forest. They left to go to the market one day. While they were gone a blonde girl walked into their cabin. Meanwhile at the market, everyone was freaking out that there were bears there.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A thin man walks into a Grocery Store. He trips, hits his head and is killed instantly. There are several children present and they are scarred for life.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Tell my wife I died doing what I love... Not her

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you get black children to stop jumping on the bed? Tell them it's not allowed and that consequences will ensue if the rules are not followed.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops