What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse

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Why wasn't there an elevator in the rainforest? The rainforest is not capable of managing an elevator because an elevator does in fact require an energy source which is also not capable in a rainforest. The rainforest is filled with animals and is not filled with humans which would make having an elevator in the rainforest useless because the main use of an elevator is to transport humans. The animals in the rainforest would not be able to operate the elevator because using an elevator for them would be advance while humans using elevators is second nature.

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who is mark

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John Stamos.

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What's larger than a grandmother clock? Plenty of things.

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how do you make a blonde snowman? hollow out the head.

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religion.

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A blind man walks into a wall.

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Why do guys love to wrestle? They like to have physical contact with other men.

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I AM SOFA KING WE TOD HEAD - AV

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You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

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What did the woman get for Christmas? Cooking oil and a black eye.

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears Because he's a rabbit

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John is typing... *2 seconds later" John: Hi

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What happens when a jew with a boner runs into a wall? He hurts his face.

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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A newborn, an infant, a teenager, a person in their 20s, a person in the 40s, a person in their 60s, a person in their 70s, a person in their 80s, and a little old lady who is about 105 walk into a bar. Wait, infants can't walk.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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A squirrel runs into a bar and out-runs the bartender to get some assorted nuts on the table then runs out of the bar

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What do a bench and a mexican have in common? (don't worry it's not racist) You'll find both in a park. (I lied)

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What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? One is easier to unload with a pitchfork.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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