How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Vampires do not exist

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Why did the school bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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What's worse than finding a worm in you apple? The holocaust.

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What do you call a muslim who is not a terrorist ? A muslim

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Greg told a joke. It wasnt funny...

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What did the boy say to the ghost wearing a banana outfit? Holy crap! A ghost!

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What did God say when he mad another black guy? Danmit i burnt one again.

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What kind of bread makes pickles? Dill Dough

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What did the rapper Proof say when he got in a fight? Nothing, Proof is dead.

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What's fourteen inches long and purple and can make a woman scream all night? crib death

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Why was the man called Big Larry? His name was Larry and he was morbidly obese.

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A zebra was on his way to a water hole. On the way he met 6 giraffes. Each giraffes had 3 monkeys around their neck. Each monkey had 2 birds on their head. How many animals went to the water hole? A:One, the zebra.

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roses are red violets are blue you know what? im sick and tired of this joke.

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What is black and white and red all over? Yemen's national flag.

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her repeatedly in the face and then slit her throat.

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What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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