Today is May 18 2016.

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Why did the guy fly? Because he steped on a landmine

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How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

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A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

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How many Neurons does a bug have? - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - -- - - - -- - - - - - -It's true

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

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An Irish man walks out of a bra.

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There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

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"I can sell this watch for $500 dollars on the black market!" Well, you could sell your liver for $500 dollars on the black market too.

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Hey I just met you And I am crazy So I will kill you And eat your body

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What is the difference between a duck. One of its legs are both the same.

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What do you call a bus full of white people? A Twinky!!!

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Who's Italian and plays with a peach? Mario

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how do you spend all your money you go buy stuff

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Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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How does Stevie Wonder pick up girls? He doesnt, he has someone do it for him

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What time is it? 10:58

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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no, ten dead babies nailed to ten dead babies.

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Why was the man bad at football? - he is chad henne

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What the did the man say to his boss? You are my boss.

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When im invisible you cant see me, i know

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Thumbs this down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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