- Anti Joke

What did the mute girl say to the other mute girl?

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died

Whats Something everyone has except david? Money.

Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Sally with prosthetic arms.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a bus.

Q: Who was the best Jewish cook? A: Hitler.

Why did the man go to sleep at 9:30? Because his mom told him to

Why did the cancer patient shave his head? He wanted to pretend he still had hair.

A Priest, A Pedofile, and a Rapist walk into a bar. He Orders A Drink

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

Guy 1: I had a Energy Drink the other day, I crashed. Guy 2: Really? That must of sucked. Guy 1: Yeah, the family in the other car died.

Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

Hey

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you ever hear the joke about the rabbi, the pope and an elephant? No? well its a good one...

why did the husband always work late nights? he needed the extra hours to provide for his family

american government

You're welcome!

What is faster than a black guy stealing a TV? His brother with a DVR

I Have a Black Friend

What is black and red? Something that is black and red.

Q: What is red and green and goes 100/mph? A: A frog in a blender

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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