how do you kill a little girl? seeing as murder is a federal offence i will not tell you how. you should be ashamed for asking.

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's wet.

how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

There's 2 cows, one says to the other "What do you think of Mad Cow Disease?" The other says, "I don't care I'm a helicopter"

Obama

There once was a squirrel. He lost his nuts.

What do you call a fat kid who eats twinkies. Otto Hintz`````

Make little things count Teach midgets math

What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus. He died

What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

What did the vegitarian order for dinner? Vegatables

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

What did the banker say to the other banker? We're both bankers!

How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

why are black people good at basketball cuz their tall

elen degeneres is straight....

A man walks through a doorway but there was a door there so he got injured

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *smiles* Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

Did you know brown and green rhyme? Just not with each other.

what do abortion and a coat hanger have in common? they both contain 4 vowels

What is worse than reading an anti-joke relatively similar to the other? Walking in your front yard and realizing a zombie is eating your dead grandmother.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm random but can still rhyme Hatsune Miku

varför skriver jag på svenska jag vet inte

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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