Why was the sex offender sweating in the playground? Because he was pushing his over weight son on the swing.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky, It hit one of the random green pipes.

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A middle-class family went away on vacation. While they were gone, a pyromaniac burnt down their house. Their cat was still inside.

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A mushroom walked into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom said, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender said, "Exactly. It's a health hazard. I already have two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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yo mamas so fat... she's a map on call of duty

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Why did the teacher get mad at the student? Because he ran over him with a car.

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What would happen if you put a marshmellow in a tractor Because 7, 8, 9

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Your mother is so obese, that when shot with a high velocity round from a handgun, the bullet is unlikely to penetrate the several layers of fat protecting her vital organs, like a fleshy kevlar vest. However, she is likely to die from infection, which is highly commom among gunshot wounds.

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Why did the cat throw up on the couch? because it was nauseous!

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 raped and murdered 8.

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Why was the T-Rex so bad at math? Cause it was stupid

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Why is there milk on the stairs? Did the cow leak again?

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What did the person do at the stop sign? Stop

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Why was the young girl? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

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A guy in a truck delivering furniture runs over a frog. Concerned for the frog, he pulls over and runs back to the frog and asks "Are you ok?" The frog replies "Yeah, you want to buy a cupboard?"

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What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

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What did the mute person say to the deaf person? Nothing.

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What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

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There once was a man from Peru, Who fell into an extremely deep sleep and woke up just before he choked to death on his shoe rubber.

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There's two homosexuals having sex in the back of a van...........they're over 21 what's wrong with that!

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What did one prisoner on death row say to the other? Can you please clean off the seat when you're done? I'd like to die in my own urine.

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You know whats retarted? people with down syndrome.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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