Erica is so sexy i want to hump her

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Your Mom is so poor she can't afford home-owners insurance.

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How do you get a firetruck to swerve uncontrollably? Shoot the driver with a 12 gauge.

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Does your face hurt? Because if it does, you might want to see a doctor.

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How do you talk to a mentally challenged person? You use words in a sequential order that would make sense grammatically

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Why did the gecko cross the road.... Because he saw great deals on car insurance!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It can never be certain, as chickens are incapable of communicating.

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Whats the difference between an oven and a fridge One is hot and the other is cold

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What did my wife say when I asked her to pick up some milk on her way home from work? OK

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Why did the hot blonde strip down? So she can take a shower

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How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? One, men will screw anything.

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knock knock , who there ray, ray who , ray winstone , I am your daddy you'll get your perks.

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we sat at the table and began to say graceme my sister, me and my mom we bowed our heads and closed our eyes and said grace we lifted our heads and opend our eyes and the food was gone my mom was gone and the chocolate in my pocket was gone (i wonder who did it lol)

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What did Jesus say last before being nailed to the cross? I don't know, It never happened. ...Why did he say that? He didn't, it's not real.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Why did the fat guy survive the plain crash He didn't he died like everyone else

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Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

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Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He saw a fish.

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Your mother is so bad at cooking that people often remark on how bad at cooking she is.

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Yo mamas so fat.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a load of bread.

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What's the difference between your cat and mine? Yours has legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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