Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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What happened to those who survived the attack on Hiroshima? They were killed in Nagasaki

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Your momma went to the gym, because she is fat.

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What is the mexican dream? To jump the border

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why was the mom crying? Her son was found in the oven.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll order The Special, what's wrong with you?

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How do u bring a dead person to life? U dont.

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Your so ugly that your birth certeficate is a apology letter from the condum factory

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Theres a man with 2 eyes.

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Why didnt the man eat the free cachew nuts? Because he did'nt want to die from an allergic reaction.

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Who did the Vampire bite? No one because vampires aren't real.

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Roses are Red Violets are plucked So are my nose-hairs Pretty disgusting

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

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What's the difference between a jazz musician and a cheese pizza? A cheese pizza is a food and a jazz musician is a person.

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why did the girl break up with her boyfriend? hes gay

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I was visiting my grandad the other day and my phone died, I was really bored, he told me I rely too much on technology I replied with 'no you do' and Unplugged his life support

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Q: What did the whale say to the other whale? A: MMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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What was the first thing the mother did when her baby was born? Weep. The baby was a was a stillborn.

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shammmm is a lesbian.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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A random guy walks into your house and says hi. You say SHUTUP

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What was so special about Anne Frank's diary? Nothing. ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops