whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket in disguise

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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Ebola

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A man knocks on a wooden door. A woman says who is it?

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Why did Frank go to the doctor? He had a bad case of the ebeyjeebes.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown glue

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What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? NOT SALLY

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A blonde and a brunette both starred in a TV show.. It was called Beavis and Butthead.

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What is the square-root of pi? ?pi

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What happened when john pelted susie with a rock? she had a temporary concusion, needed eight stitches and John was grounded

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Whats worse than forgetting some thing at the supermarket? your nuts being nail gunned to the wall.

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Why did the penguin die? He was anti-social and would rather die than huddle. So he died. THE END

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why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from the black man

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gate open and chickens typically wonder with no obvious pattern to their movements.

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Roses are violets red is blue i like lizards they have fur

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ass in my face ? no

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O'Malley, an Irishman; Adam, a Jew; and Patrick, a gay man, walk into a bar. Oh crap. I just outed Patrick.

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What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family!

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What does Snoop dog wash his clothes with Bleach

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They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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