What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

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What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? Molest them.

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what happened to the black guy after he turned off the light? he probably wanted to save energy, so he moved to a different room with natural sunlight as a light resource.

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what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

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Women's Rights.

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How many Jew can you fit in a car? As many as the car seats comfortably.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the same wolf that had devoured the chickens' chicks singlehandedly was chasing it.

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Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

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sally stole a t.v what happend next? she was arested

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Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

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Why did the man order fried chcken? I have twelve dead babies in my trunk.

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What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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I pooped my pants

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Why Was Did Jill Cross The Road? She Needed To Get To Work.

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What was the tallest mountain before Mount Everest was discovered? Mount Everest

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Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

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Q. what did the gay man say about the smoothie? A. he said "that is soooo good"

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Your mother is so rotund, in fact she went to a weight loss clinic... but gained weight

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

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Me: Sometimes I like to talk to myself. Me: So do I.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops