What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

when i start seeing A TON of black people what does that mean? im color blind

Why did the Mexican choose the blue marker over the green one? Because he his favorite color was green, and it was Opposite Day.

What do you say when the cheese isn't yours? The cheese does not belong to me.

How did the family of Cubans get to Florida? They flew first class from their home in upstate New York.

Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

Why did the quick brown fox jump in the lake? He did not see lake on the other side of the lazy dog.

Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

I really don't care how you dress at my funeral, I'll be dead!

Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

It burns when I pee sometimes.

KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

Why did the British person go to the dentist? He had a poor diet which led to him getting cavities

The Sarah Palin bus tour to teach children about history.

YEAH THEY DO.

What did the boy have for lunch? A sandwich.

why do girraffe's have long necks? because my foot is so far up all their asses that it hits their head, pushing it away from the body.

Your mum is so overweight, she is at risk of heart disease, I highly recommend she visits her GP.

Donald Trump

what did the jewish kid get for his birthday......Striped pajamas

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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