Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many WOMEN does it take to change a light bulb? YOU ALREADY KNOW ITS GONNA BE MORE THAN ONE!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Little girl and a pedofile walk into the woods at night. Little girl says, "mr pedofile im scared" pedofile responds " you think your scared? i have to walk out of here alone."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because the light said don't walk

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what do all 21 year olds have in common? there all 21

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Wombat monkey juice.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to call animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A family's house was possessed by ghosts causing them great fear and discomfort. Who are they gonna call? A real estate agent.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

whats worse than finding the holocaust on your forehead? a mono brow

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A black man walks into a bar. His parents were immigrants from South Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I'm wet Ew you perv.. Stop thinking like that ! I just took a shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What has 9 arms and sucks? Def Leppard

thumb_up thumb_down +19

im a dragon, no im not

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Where do astronaut cows go? Nowhere. There's no such thing as an astronaut cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Comedy.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the midget get for Christmas? A new watch and a gift card for Applebee's.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what do yo call two dog? dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Matt is not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Do you want to hear a good knock knock joke? Okay, you start.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A white rapper. HAHAHAHAHAHA oh ya he was muslim.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is a Mexican's favorite restaurant? While the term "Mexican" encompasses a wide range of individuals and individual predilections, the most common cibarious preference would likely be a food that is reminiscent of his or her homeland; that is, what we refer to as Mexican food. An authentic nearby joint sporting such provisions would likely be the most common preference, but, as this description can only be traced on the local scale, a specific restaurant that covers a wider range of locations would be a more appropriate answer. Among the top choices are Taco Time and Taco Del Mar.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

when i go to a nude beach people think im looking for lost jewelery and treasure

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats the difference between a pontiac and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a pontiac in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops