Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman

What did the Catholic Priest say to the little boy? May God be with you.

What's more annoying than a mosquito? the Sandy Hook Massacre

Why did Suzie fall off her swing? She was dead

Knock, knock -Who's there? Help -Help who? Im dying of lukemia

What do you call a hobo that lives a in a box. A hobo

What did the hat say to the other hat? Nothing, because hats don't talk, stupid.

Why couldn't Timmy ride his tricycle? He was run over by a bus.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

What's Worse Than Unripened Fruit? Crippling Depression.

What happened when Aladdin rubbed his lamp? It got slightly cleaner.

What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

How do Chinese people get their names? From their parents.

If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

A girl was walking home from school, she had a pizza box in her hands, her mom was waiting for her in the car to take her to T.G.I.F, and then she dropped the pizza box in the middle of the street. In a frantic attemp to get the box, she run out into the middle of the street and got hit by a semi. Her funeral is tomorrow.

this sentence will not monkey banana pie

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why is Cindy crying? She got a branch stuck in her eye which irritated her sensitive cornea so her tear duct produced a tear to help shed the material from her eye.

Why did Jake have a bad spring break? Because he got hit by a car and died

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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