Stevie Wonder: Did you see the new piano I got from pepsi? Me: no.... Stevie Wonder: Neither did I...........

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Joe used to always talk about his family and his two wonderful kids Joe can no longer talk to or about his family because his smoking habits have gotten out of control

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar, they order a few drinks, then call a cab to go home.

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Why didn't Helen Keller learn to drive as a teenager? They didn't have cars back then.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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Why did little Timmy start crying? Because he was shot.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

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What did the vegitarian order for dinner? Vegatables

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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Why did Jimmy through a glass at spouse? Jimmy was an abusive husband who had a tendancy to drink too much.

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What did the Muslim have under his hood of his car? A V-8 engine.

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Q: how do you stop a blonde woman from drowning? A: unplug the stopper in the bathtub Q: how do you stop a baby from drowning? A: take your foot off its head

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what did the blind deaf orphan get for christmas? cancer

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why did helen cellars dog runway. you would to if ur name was ujujujujjujujujujujj

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

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What did the liberian man say to the kid he just spat on? You have ebola. and probably aids.

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Everyone knows a sandwich made with bacon, lettuce, and tomato is a BLT, but what do you call a sandwich made with tomato, bacon, and lettuce? A BLT.

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What kinds of children go to heaven dead ones

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A gay guy and a blind man walk into a bar. It's a gay bar. The blind man is also gay.

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Why did the mentally handicapped kid fail his math test? Because he didn't study.

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What do nappies and politicians have in common? Not a lot, although President Roosevelt suffered from incontinence due to polio as a child.

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Bumper Sticker: I Brake for Stop Signs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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