Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

What do you say to a very ambitious dyslexic child? You're ambition is inspiring and I encourage you to follow your dreams. Some of the worlds greatest people, including Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill were dyslexic. Your drive is much bigger than your disorder.

Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

What's cooler than being cool? Being really cool

This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

Knock Knock Who's there? Cancer

What do you say the big head boy? Brush yo teeth

What's the difference between a Duck and Michael Jackson? A Duck has feathers and goes "Quack quack" and Michael Jackson touches little boys......

Society has given up on chairs that spin.

A man walks into a bar and says "Ow".

How do you teach your daughter to stop wetting the bed? Cut her best friends eye-lids off at her birthday party.

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Neither has Stevie Wonder

what is pink and fishy? pink fish.

Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

A man walks into a bar and brings a Snickers. He gets a beer, eats the candy, and leaves leaving the wrapper. The bartender is angry with the littering but cleans it up and serves another customer.

What did the Hobo get for Christmas? Nothing,He celebrated Hanukkah.

What is dangerous when eaten? My grandmother's cooking?

What is black, white, and red all over? A person who has black, white, and red paint on his or her body.

What's Casey Anthony doing now that she's not in prison? She's actually living life as an upstanding citizen in Florida.

What did the turkey call the chicken? Nothing, turkeys can't speak, idiot.

whats blue, saggy, moldy and smelly? Will Nealis' Vagina

Why... ...did the chicken cross the road?

Chuck Norris' punch is so powerful that is falls on the downward slope of the bell curve for punch force of adult males.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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