Why did the monkey follow the tree? Because it was dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

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You know what you can do with your offer to 'help'? Await another opportunity please I appreciate it much.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin... Nothing they are muffins.

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i did your mom......a favor. by making you......... a sandwhich. i rubbed her pussy.........cat. she saw my dick.........tionary. I slapped her ass...........what i did.

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Q: What's black and white, and red all over ? A: A penguin in a blender.

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas

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Have you seen Elton johns pet dog? Neither he's he.

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Penis.

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what's brown and sticky? a turd.

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What's better than sex? Nothing

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That's why her hair is so big, she teases it and uses a lot of expensive products.

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Why was the Asian so good at ping-pong? Disciprine.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're a whore

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whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

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how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

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How do you kill yourself You jump of a cliff

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boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

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If Johnny can hold 7 bottles of Vodka in one hand and 6 cans of beer in the other, what does Johnny have? A drinking problem.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

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What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

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When you're climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter, you may want to see what happened, and then promptly clean up the mess so one one slips.

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I took your mother out to a fine seafood dinner. I never called her again.

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What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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