What did the man do when he walked into the gym? Died of a brain aneurysm.

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Your mama so stupid. She tried to climb over a glass wall to see the other side

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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What did the coach do to the player Coached the player

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I have a sandwich and chips for lunch! But instead of a sandwich I have macaroni, and instead of chips I have no friends.

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what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

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What did one ear say to the other ear? Did you hear that?

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Man walks into a gun store, buys a gun. The same man goes home and lives happily till he dies of cancer. His son takes the gun shots himself, survives then later dies of cancer.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the the wheels.

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Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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The Treatment of Steve Bartman

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A black guy and a few other white guys steal a keg. They then proceed to have an awesome party consisting of extreme inebriation and a massive orgy.

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I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

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Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

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What happened to the peanut who went to NYC? Nothing because he was eaten on the plane

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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What's white or grey or brown or green or black or yellow or purple ? Could be almost anything, really.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had cancer.

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What do you get if you cross a banana, a mango, and an apple? A smoothie

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terry stockton is straight

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Q-What happened to the kid who thought he could fly A-his head exploded while he was sitting in a microwave

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How heavy duty are your nachos? No, because babies simply cannot swallow blenders.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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