Q-What happened to the kid who thought he could fly A-his head exploded while he was sitting in a microwave

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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WHATS BALCK AND YELLOW AND UNDER WATER? A BUMBLE BEE IN A SUBMARINE.... YEAH YOU BETTER #$%^ING LAUGH YOU HOMO

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

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A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the last joke.

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What's worse than missing Taco Tuesday? Your whole family dying in a car crash.

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Rather rich and healthy, then poor and sick.

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Did you know every 46 seconds somebody commits suicide Thumbs up for pancakes!

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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A moose walks into a corner store and asks the lady where the Mashed potatoes are. The lady working behind the corner says "Down Aisle five..." The moose goes down aisle five and there are no Mashed Potatoes. -Tyler the Creator

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Why did the house burn down? Because I set it on fire.

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Biggest lie ever told... Mrs. Beiber, its a boy.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead. Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? A: Because he was stapled to the monkey.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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Hey, Texas! Knock knock Texas: Who's there? Ebola

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twilight

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What do you call a black airman? A pilot!

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why cant penguins fly? because they cant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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