What happens when you try to hand feed a shark You have one less hand

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

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After filling her car up with gas, a woman leaves the gas station with the pump still attached to her car. Why did this happen, you ask? It was a silly mistake anyone could have made.

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What's long, hard, and wet? A difficult college exam that fell in a puddle of water

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First person: Knock, knock. Second person: Who's there? First person: You know. Second person: 'You know' who? First person: O.O LORD VOLDEMORT!

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Bob:well Joe, its been tough latley, I hats my life Joe: I don't give a tuck, ur retarded, you have never had any friends and I am sure that the school will have a pep fest when u hang ur self in ur bedroom. So go now! I don't know why u even r talking to me and I don't know why I am responding

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Bailey you suck at writing anti jokes quit!!!!!!!!!!! :( :( :( :( :(

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"Hello?" "Is your refrigerator running??" "Yes..." "Oh. Well then have a nice day."

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hit the thumbs down button

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i saw your mom, i said hi

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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What did Obama get at the bar? A shot... In the head.

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Whats worse than swinging a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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What do you call a deaf black man? Well, if you did not already know his name, you would first have to contact a member of his family, or a friend, and ask them, as even if you were able to communicate the question of 'what is your name?' to the man, it is well known that the speech of deaf people is nowhere near as clear as that of people who are able to hear.

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Yo mama so fat, she most likely wont live to 40

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man was playing with his little toddler. the man put his thumb through his fingers and said "got your nose" the baby laughed. the cops then burst down his door and arrested him for robbery of personal items. they werent laughing.

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an asian walks into a bar and does his math homework then he gets raped by a horse

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What's 9 plus 10? 19

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S: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? P: They can chuck wood.

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Why wasn't the rabbit elgible to vote? Because rabbits aren't human beings, and only humans are allowed to vote.

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What's worse than the holocaust? 3,000,000 jews.

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CHICKEN it is a chickenly chickeny food we eat WRONG

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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