a catholic priest and a young boy

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Why did Michael Jackson go to McDonald's? Because he was hungry.

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You can buy me a rose, and if I love roses, that rose would make me happy, you can buy me a large house by the ocean, but if I do not like big empty spaces and dislike the sea, it would make me sad. I am no longer sure what would make me happy, so no.

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What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

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Why did the child die? Natural causes.

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You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

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Why did John fall off the tree? We were throwing rocks at him.

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Why is poop brown? Because you're a shit.

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69. Yeah- that's my street address.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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what did eminem say to dr.dre? nothing u idoits dr.dres dead he is locked in my basement

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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How do you confuse a black man? Paint him white.

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment were left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cancer

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

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I see, said the deaf man to the blind guy.

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Q. Why did the man fall off his bike? A. He was hit by a canoe.

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What's the difference between red hair and black hair? Redheads vs. blackheads

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why do they call it history? Women didn't do shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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