Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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2 * 2 * 2 * 3 * 2417

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What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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hi

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A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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1: Why did Suzie have no arms and no legs? 2: Why? 1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's there? 1: Not Suzie

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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