Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Rocky was chasing him

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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Water is blue. Fire is red. Come on let me show you what happen in the bed.

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

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what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops