What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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Sex

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What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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