im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

The man was allergic to water. He unfortunately died because water is needed to sustain health as a human.

There are two cows standing in a field eating grass. The first cow says "moo", the second cow says "Thats funny, I was about to say that".

Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

David Cameron

Yo momma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn.

Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

Where's my baby??

I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he saw his ex-girlfriend walking down the street so he was trying to kill her by hitting her in the head with the clock.

A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

y r black people noses so big??? A= god had to hold tem somehere to spray paint them

What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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