What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

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What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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If you're happy and you know it get a life

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs? numerous abusive terms as you kickk him to death.

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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