What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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Sigh, at times like this I begin to ponder what I am doing with my life. I do not look that much like some anime character thingie, she is awfully cute for a anime character though.

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So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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