How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

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so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

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Mom, how do you make babies? When a daddy and mommy love each other very much... They play with trains and tunnels!(Yay!)

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Getting voted down to page 4067

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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swag

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I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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